


His Bite’s Worse than His Stark

by hotchoco195



Series: Stark Raving Mad [6]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Invasion of Privacy, Loki is a scary bastard when he wants to be, M/M, Major Character Injury, Paparazzi, Tony Fucking Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-22
Updated: 2014-03-22
Packaged: 2018-01-16 13:54:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1349803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotchoco195/pseuds/hotchoco195
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One photo. One photo, and suddenly the entire country runs mad. Tony isn't going to sit back and watch his man take that much shit. Loki has a similar opinion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	His Bite’s Worse than His Stark

“Hawkeye, what’s Hulk’s position?” Steve barked over the radio.

“Two blocks back pounding on the giant robot. And that’s a sentence I never thought I’d say.”

“Tony?”

“Cap?” Iron Man breezed past, blasting a drone out of the sky.

“Go see if Bruce needs back up.”

“On it.” He swooped over the buildings and out of sight.

Steve turned to flatten another of the eerie skeletal machines as it raised a cannon to fire at him. The machines were about a foot taller than the humans, with flight capabilities and not much in the way of body as a target. This day sucked.

Natasha flipped over a parked car and slammed her opponent’s head through the window, yanking the trailing cords out of the back of its dome-shaped head. Loki exploded two into metallic goo and twirled to take out another behind Steve.

“Where is Mr Mad Scientist this time?” Tony grumbled.

The headshake was clear in Clint’s voice. “Fucking Doom.”

“Not here, that’s for sure.” Natasha snapped off a dangling piece of street sign and smacked a drone in the face with it.

There was a huge crash and the street beneath them trembled, a triumphant roar echoing off the buildings.

“Big one’s down, Cap. Coming to help you.”

“Try and herd Bruce this way if you can.”

“Not gonna be easy, partner. I think he’s ready for naptime.”

Loki kicked a drone in the chest and slashed his knife across another’s power cord, the robots falling in heaps of metal. He spun and splashed a thin sheet of ice over the road, their feet sliding out from under them. There was a thudding click to his right and he glanced up, arm shooting out automatically as the drone fired. The god was blown backwards into a shop window, the glass shattering around him.

“Loki!” Steve’s shield hit the robot and bounced back.

“Lokes?” Tony shouted, panic thick in his voice as he ripped the arms right off the machine he was fighting and zoomed towards the window. He hit the ground hard, climbing in through the wreckage. Loki was flat on his back, eyes closed. His armour had protected him from most of the glass though Tony suspected there were probably some cuts on the back of his head, and he had a massive wound through his shoulder that was still smoking.

“Loki?” Tony knelt, flipping up his face plate, “Hon? Baby, open your eyes for me. Come on Lokes, for me?”

He slapped his face gently, glancing at the hole again. It should heal itself; it certainly wasn’t as bad as the time Doom melted off half his face or the damage Baron Zemo had done to Thor. Those photos made Tony throw up every time, and Loki’s magic had healed the blond to the point where you could barely tell it had happened.

“Tony, what’s his status?” Steve asked.

 

“I can’t tell a fucking thing with this shit on,” he stripped off his gauntlet angrily, pressing his fingers to Loki’s neck, “Not responding but he’s got a pulse and he’s breathing. Lokes? Come on, baby. Fucking open your eyes, you pain in the ass!”

“I don’t believe you’re supposed to yell at invalids.” The god rasped out, eyelids fluttering before they opened.

“Jesus! Oh, oh fuck me, thank Christ.” Tony threw himself on his husband’s chest.

“Ow.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He pulled back.

Loki lifted his arms stiffly and probed the hole in his shoulder with a thumb, making Tony flinch. It came away bright red. Loki laid his palm over the wound and there was a sparkle around his fingers. When he pulled away Tony could see the flesh knitting itself back together layer by layer.

“You are not allowed to scare me like that ever again, you hear me?” Tony laughed helplessly, “God, since when do you let anything ambush you like that?”

“Tell him he’s an idiot from me.” Clint snarked.

“Way to go, Asgardian.” Natasha said flatly.

Tony smiled and offered Loki a hand up, pulling him until he was sitting. “You okay?”

“I’ve been better, but I shall be fine in five minutes.”

“That’s what I like about you – fast recovery time.”

“Gross, Stark.” Clint groaned.

“Don’t be jealous, Barton. Cap, how does it look out there? I have an urge to smash that might rival Hulk’s.”

“We’re about done.”

“Good.”

He captured Loki’s face in his hands and kissed him, putting all his fear and relief and anger into it. The taller man clung on so hard his fingers dented the armour, soothing Tony with his soft murmurs.

“Fury’s gonna love listening to that later.” Natasha snickered.

Tony pulled away, beaming at Loki. “He would, dirty old perv.”

*****

They went to SHIELD HQ for debriefing and so Loki could get checked out, even if he insisted he was perfectly restored. Fury stood over them until they’d finished their reports, so by the time SHIELD’s thoughtful ride started towards the Tower it was late afternoon.

“Sir.”

“Yeah Jarv?” Tony raised a hand to his ear, the other keeping a firm grip on Loki. He hadn’t let go since the fight, even when the doctors were examining him. Even Fury didn’t try to separate them.

“There is something you should see.”

He frowned, pulling out his phone. Nat looked up from where she was leaning on Bruce. “What’s up?”

“I dunno. Jarvis said there might be a problem.”

He unlocked the screen and the AI immediately pulled up a photo. It was from the fight, him and Loki plastered together at the mouth.

“Holy fucking shit.”

“Tony?” Loki frowned, looking over, “Oh.”

“What?” Steve sat forward.

“Jarvis, where did you get this?”

“It originated on the New York Times website, sir, but it is spreading rapidly through all the major American news distributors.”

“Stop it. Kill the file.”

“I cannot, sir. It is already being shared on Facebook and other social networking sites.”

“Kill it anyway!”

“Tony, what’s going on?” Steve snapped.

“Taking the photo down isn’t going to stop anything, sweetheart,” Loki gripped his knee too tightly, “The story has already broken.”

Clint was looking at his own phone, and his brows shot up. “Shit. How did a reporter manage to get that?”

“Tony Stark, cheater!” the inventor gaped at the screen, “Forbidden Avengers romance? The pictures that will break Lola Stark’s heart! God, this is just fucking fantastic. Lokes can’t be the other woman when he _is_ the wife.”

“They don’t know that.” Steve pointed out.

“Pep is gonna kill me. Stark Industries is going to take so much heat for this.”

“Forget Stark Industries. What about Loki?” Natasha looked at him warily.

The god rested back against the car seat heavily. “It is not myself I am worried about. Tony, you should be thankful they are focusing on the supposed cheating, because soon enough it will be cries of traitor instead.”

“They can get fucked. I love you, end of story. I don’t care what they think; I don’t even care if they say I’ve gone back to my playboy heartless shit. But if they dare to call you one disparaging name I will sue them all to kingdom come.”

The SUV pulled up outside Stark Tower to find a huge swarm of reporters camped out in front of the doors. As soon as they saw the car cameras started flashing. Tony shook his head.

“No, fuck this. We’re all tired, you have a newly healed hole in your fucking shoulder and I am way too angry to deal with them. Lokes, can you get us all upstairs?”

“Of course.”

“Jarvis, send a message to Pep to call my lawyers. If we can get them for anything, I don’t care what, invasion of privacy or libel or anything, do it. I want that fucking photographer’s name.”

 

Dinner was a very subdued affair, Tony glancing angrily at the security feed that showed the press hadn’t gone anywhere.

“Why don’t you call the cops to take them for trespassing?” Bruce said after his gaze drifted for the umpteenth time.

“It’ll just make the story even bigger. Silencing the press instead of denying anything.”

“Pepper will probably release a statement that explains about Loki and Lola though, right?” Steve played with his fork uncomfortably.

“Course. It’s only gonna make things even more insane though,” Tony looked at the god apologetically, “Humans aren’t that open-minded about gender, let alone alien princes who used to be the bad guy.”

Natasha set her face into a hard mask. “Just tell me who to kill.”

“Tasha!” Steve said disapprovingly.

Bruce didn’t say anything though, and Tony gave her a grateful half-smile. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

“Darcy will kick all their asses. She’s super protective of Lokes.” Clint added.

“That’s it!” Tony snapped off the screen, “TV and newspaper-free zone for the next week. Lokes, you wanna go to the Bahamas? We can sunbathe and pretend we’re on our own island. Hey, maybe I should buy an island.”

“Too supervillain.” Bruce smiled.

“Why should they get all the fun?”

“It sounds wonderful, Tony, but I think Lady Pepper will object if you flee and leave all this to her."

“Huh. You _might_ have a point.”

*****

“Hello?” Loki answered the phone.

“Sup, babe?” Darcy said.

“The usual. Trying to keep Tony from blowing up the headquarters of the New York Times.”

“Good luck with that.”

“How is it?”

He could hear her wince. “It’s bad. All the cheating stuff’s been replaced by accusations that you guys hid the relationship because you knew it was wrong and that you can’t be trusted.”

He closed his eyes and pressed a hand to his temple. “Tony is going to lose his mind.”

“Do you want me to come over? We can make cookies and watch stupid movies.”

“They will attack you the second you show your face outside.”

“Come here then.”

“I cannot leave Tony unsupervised.”

“I’ll brave the press pack for you. Those dickheads need a good talking-to anyway.”

“You would be a life saver. I cannot keep having sex to distract him – Tony’s only human and my stamina will ruin him.”

“Yeah it will! I’ll be fifteen minutes.”

He hung up, venturing out of their bedroom to find Tony. Loki headed down to the workshop, correctly guessing his husband would be belting the shit out of a broken engine with a wrench.

“Tony? Darcy is coming over.”

“Great.”

“Should I ask her to bring Clint?”

“If you want.”

Loki sighed and walked over, sliding his arms around Tony’s neck. “Please try to relax. For me.”

“They just make me so angry. Acting like we were sneaking around, when all we were doing was trying to avoid this exact situation!”

“We knew it would happen eventually.”

“It just sucks. I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re everybody’s favourite punching bag.”

“Tony, I regret that my past actions make it so difficult for the Midgardians to accept me. For a time I had Lola to give me some space from that reputation and now she is gone. It will make things complicated but I have faced bad press before and survived it. So long as I have you beside me, their opinion doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me. I can’t let them drag my husband’s name through the mud. You’re worth more than all of them combined. Can’t you like, mass mind-wipe people so they forget?”

“Unfortunately not.”

“Okay. Guess I’ll just own it then. I’ll tell them to mind their damn business and give you a chance.”

Loki kissed him. “My hero.”

 

Loki sat on the couch beside Darcy and watched proudly as Tony stepped onto the stage, Pepper and Steve at his side as representatives of S.I. and the team. He looked magnificent in his sharp suit, his face deadly serious as the media yelled their questions. The genius gripped the sides of the podium and faced them, the room falling silent.

“There was a photo taken without my knowledge during a particularly stressful moment in the most recent Avengers mission. It spread quickly, as these things do, before we’d even had a chance to come to terms with the trauma of the day. Now I’ve never been a fan of the lack of privacy that comes with being me but I accept it. I use it for good where possible. This time it’s to clear up a mistake you all seem to be sharing.”

He paused for a moment before continuing.

“Loki Laufeyson is my husband. We’ve been together for three years. He is also the person you know as my wife, Lola Stark. Over the course of working with the Avengers to make amends for his actions in New York, we grew close and fell in love, and were eventually married. Now I don’t think you have to be a rocket scientist to understand why we maybe didn’t feel like letting you all be privy to that fact, given how supportive you’ve been since you found out.”

“Snap!” Darcy pumped her fist.

“We did not intentionally deceive anyone about ‘Lola’ for any sinister reason or cowardice. Adopting her character was simply a way for Loki to escape the fierce scrutiny of people like yourselves and relax. She allowed us to be a normal couple in public instead of a constant media storm. I love Loki, no matter what he looks like, and I’m not ashamed of it. He’s a hero of Earth now, every bit an Avenger.”

“Mr Stark!”

“Mr Stark!”

“Yes.” Tony pointed to one of the reporters.

“So is this the last time we see Lola Stark then?”

“I don’t know. That’s up to Loki.”

“You don’t have a preference?”

“Of course not. I just want him to be comfortable.”

“Did you know Loki could shapeshift when you started your relationship?”

The god growled at the implication that Tony only wanted him when he was a woman, but the inventor shrugged the question off.

“No.”

“So you don’t think there’s anything wrong with marrying the guy who tried to flatten New York?” one man snapped.

Tony raised a brow. “You’re all going to want to be a lot more careful how you speak about him in front of me.”

The reporter looked immediately cowed, glancing down at his notepad. Darcy squeezed Loki’s hand.

“You two are the cutest.”

“Clint would do the same for you.”

“No he wouldn’t. He’d just stick an arrow through an important part of whoever insulted me.”

Loki’s gaze narrowed. That sounded like a very good idea.

 

Adam Stringer walked into his apartment and put the chain on the door, dropping his keys on the kitchen table as he opened his camera bag. He slid the memory card out, heading for his desk.

“So whose life are you interfering in this time?”

He shrieked, jumping back as the figure on the couch turned his head slowly to face the photographer.

“Jesus! What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I got the address from an associate. She was not overly pleased with your little expose.”

He stammered, face going paler as Loki stood, “Now, hang on a second. I was just doin’ my job, man.”

“Your job involves besmirching the name of one of your own saviours?”

“Stark’s been besmirched plenty in his time. He can take it.”

“But you have not asked if _I_ can take it. And my opinion is rather more important at this moment.”

He started stepping closer and Adam backed up against the wall. “Hey, you touch me, I’ll tell everyone.”

Loki sighed, rolling his eyes. “Yes. That is how you operate. Don’t worry, I’m not going to lay a hand on you.”

“Then what’s this about? You want me to apologise? Fine, I’m sorry, okay. I didn’t know I was blowing your big cover, I just thought it was a good scoop.”

“It was an admirable shot. I assume they paid you well.”

“Yeah. Do you want the money? I mean, I don’t see why you’d need it but you can have it, man.”

“I have no desire for your blood money. I want you to instead consider exactly _who_ you are fucking with next time.”

“I’ll stay away from you and Stark – all the Avengers. Promise!”

Loki stopped an inch away from him, leaning in. “It is a good oath, but I do not think you will be able to keep it. Not when the pay is so rich. Instead I think I shall arrange a little spell for you.”

“What the fuck? That’s assault, dude!”

“I am doing nothing, simply marking you for Heimdall.”

“Who?” he gasped as Loki’s thumb brushed his forehead.

“Odin’s sentry. He sees _everything_. Your every moment will be scrutinised for the rest of your existence and if you err, if you hurt anyone, Heimdall will know. And he will tell me. And I will come back here.”

He left the threat hanging in the air, the human shaking. He seemed to get the message. Loki gave a curt nod and disappeared, popping back in his own lounge room. Tony was sprawled over the couch but raised a brow at his outfit.

“What’s with the armour?”

“Just keeping it in trim.” Loki nestled in under his arm.

“Oh? Just the armour.”

“Just the armour, Tony.”

The inventor kissed his nose. “I hope Stringer pissed himself.”

Loki bit his lip mischievously. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”


End file.
